fredag den 26. februar 2010

Preface

Words and drawings by Kim Scholer


Most people think of Denmark as an advanced society, which may be justified in some respects. When it comes to laws regarding modified vehicles, it is not, because here Denmark ranks somewhere in between North Korea and Burkina Faso. And when the longhaired teenager that is now middle aged me got into choppers Way Back When, it was much worse; put a 16” rear tyre on your stock Bonnie or a handlebar a fraction wider than the legal 27.6 inches, off went the license plate and you’d be walking the bike home.


Then you’d rebuild the bike to stock, rent a temporary license plate and ride to the State Inspection Station, which at the time was run like a medieval fiefdom, the boss usually being a former army officer unable to advance further up the ranks. And this bastard with failed dreams of becoming the next General Patton would, as a matter of principle, hate anyone entering his premises. This was the early 70’s and resistance was useless.


Fast-forward to the Great Nordic Rocker War (1995-97), rocket propelled grenades and all. Suddenly the police realized that there were more serious threats to society than slightly chopped bikes. Add to this a new generation of vehicle inspectors who didn’t suffer nervous breakdowns when faced with something of non-stock appearance. Sometimes they’d pass what you brought in, sometimes they'd chase you out - it was now a hit-or-miss affair.


Actually it still is, but as of four years ago the inspections have been privatized, so now we deal with private garages and car dealers, some of which can’t tell a motorcycle from a manhole cover, were it not for the fact that the former has lights. We think of this as The Golden Age.


It is, of course, all very relative, as Einstein might have pointed out. Neighbouring Sweden has great laws regarding choppers and hotrods, laws that magically ensure that the neat stuff they build also is somewhat safe to drive. In fact said laws proved to work so well that Norway and Finland eventually just copied them, and who knows, in twenty years or when pigs fly – whichever comes first - Denmark might follow suit.


Now, while some may be able to take advantage of this current ‘golden age’, I’m not amongst them. I dislike wrenching, and I’m not particularly good at it anyway. This is why it took me three years to build the Nimbus bobber this mag featured a while back, a bike most people could have built in three months or less. Instead I let my mind and my pens roam free.


An email from editor Desperate Dan of Britchopper said he’d publish my drawings, but they had to be sent within a week from when I wrote this. And I was up to my ears in other work. This happened in late February '09, at the peak of the suicide season, and I couldn’t find my hara-kiri knives. There was nothing to do but sigh and dig out the folder with old sketches.


Nimbus motorcycles have been the one constant of my life and despite frequent affairs with other brands, the Danish in-line four with the overhead cam and the exposed rocker arms is The One. So it often is my engine of choice when drawing up a new project, which does not and should not look like a Harley. Too many Harleys about.


Now don’t get me wrong; there’s four of them on my winning-the-lottery-list, and the best looking bike I ever had was a brand new XLX, which I loved dearly, even if I took to wearing a patriotic ‘Fuck price and quality – Buy American’ button every time the blasted thing was brought in for yet another warranty fix. Even the frame broke before the six month warranty expired.


Trouble is that Harleys are way too expensive, and in particular that most everybody building choppers uses them. Businesswise this makes sense, of course, witness now-defunct Orange County Choppers et al, but for creativity I long for something else. Enter the ones below which are all designed with engines costing a quarter or less of what a new American v-twin engine goes for.


As hinted above, I suffer from a bad case of Nimbusitis, but for all their inherent qualities (really nice looking engine, reliability, cheap & plentiful spares), they make a paltry 22 bhp, which is only half the fun of playing with – say - 44 bhp. Recently I took off the rear view mirror on my bobber, because seeing all those clear, mirrored MAN or IVECO logos in it became too stressful. As a result, three of the specials here have a pair or a quartet of Nimbus engines, coupled one way or another.



onsdag den 24. februar 2010

The Superstovepipe

The Superstovepipe

A stock Nimbus engine has but 22 bhp, and doesn't lend it self to being tuned. Seeing that bhp = fun, then 44 bhp must be twice the fun and 88 bhp even better. So four engines it'll be, coupled to each other by shafts running from the front ones to the rear ones, which in turn are connected by a belt. Incidentally, four Nimbus engines are cheaper than one Harley equivalent, and at 640 lbs it weighs less than many touring bikes. A single SU carburetor on a low-pressure blower feeds the intakes. It has no gearbox, just a clutch and a bottomless pit of torque. Frame style mimics the 1919 Nimbus, popularly known as ‘The Stovepipe’, hence the name.

(Thanks to Mads Johnsen for CG'ing this one for me.)

Ziberian Zed

Ziberian Zed

Compressor-fed Z1300 has twin machine guns and armour for protection, twin front skates for stability and a studded rear tyre for grip. The trunk houses a samovar, and the seat cover is made of bear fur. Front end is from an 1960s MiG jet fighter plane. At some time in the distant future, it will be used on Northern Siberian lakes and rivers during winter, by the few remaining Communist tribes.

The Holy Flathead

The Holy Flathead

A rebuilt ex-French Army Ford Flathead V8 can be picked up for about US$ 4,000, although about one-third of that buys an air cooled 150 bhp Tatra V8, if one wants to avoid the complexity of water cooling. Hub centre steering is by a long connecting rod on the far side. It may take a while to build the frame rails.

The Woodworm Special

The Woodworm Special

Three sheets of plywood, some thin skinning of copper, and a pre-1980 quarter-litre two-stroke engine, like this Maico. The frame probably is a bit wobbly, but at least admirers of the Studebaker Avanti will appreciate that it has only one straight side.

The Meteor Quike

Meteor Quike

Old, discarded tank engines (27 litre, 600 bhp) like the Rolls-Royce Merlin based Meteor can’t be used for much, so at app. US$ 4,000 they’re surprisingly inexpensive. A Rover v-eight is used for cruising and for starting the big one. Front section is two aluminium castings bolted together, as are the dual fuel tanks.

A large radiator under the Rover engine cools both engines, and water can be circulated through the Meteor prior to its occasional upstarts. When the front wheel is turned more than a few degrees, the Citroên-style suspension system takes the load off the second set of rear wheels. The total vehicle weight comes out to about 1.6 tonnes.

Steampunk Express

Steampunk Express

Two cut-up Nimbus engine blocks welded together, two-piece handlebar for a good view of the sixteen exposed rocker arms. Fuel & front suspension lies ahead of the engine, a Moto Guzzi auto-transmission behind it. An SU carburetor on a low-pressure blower feeds the cylinders. The frame is made of eighteen aluminium plates bolted together, the center ones doing double duty as the wet sump. Wooden wheels and an abundance of brass bits are all essential parts of the steampunk style.

If I ever do a major project, this straight eight will be it…

The Boxer Eight (a.k.a. The Lobster)

The Boxer Eight (a.k.a. The Lobster)

The lower one of the two Nimbus engine blocks bolted together has a reversed cylinder head, and a modified cam and ignition. Conrods with ‘slave’ rods are used for the upper part. It’ll be a right pain to assemble the engine, but Nimbus experts say it can be done. The oil ends up in the lower camshaft housing, to return to the oil tank right behind. Fuel tank is above the oil tank. Dual exhaust systems resemble a lobster’s legs, when the latter is lying on it’s back.

Der Big Willy

Der Big Willy

The smallest of the German 1950’s three-wheelers had just borrowed their famous name from WW2 aircraft designer Willy Messerschmitt, but this is the real thing. The late-model DB 601 inverted V12 makes 1,475 bhp on aviation fuel. Power goes via the propeller shaft to a two-speed gearbox, and further on to the front wheels. The 'NRA Special' version get to keeps the two 20 mm cannon mounted above the engine.

Seeing that lately old 'warbirds' have gotten quite pricey, this will be one expensive vehicle.

The Prattster